A quick update on my health, since its not something we have focused on in the last 14 months- I went to the Maternal Fetal Medicine group at St. Peters in NJ, which is affiliated with CHOP and recommended by our cardiologist. I went through my life history, family, Liam's last year- yes, we had a 2 hour conversation. But at the end of the meeting, he reassured me several times, the Down Syndrome came first, and that was just a chance happening and not something either Alex or I caused with our genetics. And the heart defect was because of that, not because of anything else and again, we were not to blame.
I don't know why it took this long but I finally believe him. I think I will always have guilt and all Mom's do, but I can work through it. I can believe 99% of the time that this wasn't our doing. We talked about future babies and our chances of it happening again. Obviously, there is a higher rate than the average 31 year old, but not much more, perhaps 1 in 100. With heart defect, it is slightly higher but because Liam has a chromosomal issue, it is less than others would have.
Oh and I'm all of 8 lbs from my pre baby weight. Finally, its starting to work its way off now that I'm not insulin dependent. The doctor estimated the insulin caused at least 30 lbs of water tissue weight which is the hardest to lose so I'm getting there. Can't wait to move and get my clothes back to see how they fit!
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